in Movies, Reviews

Closer to God

31 Days of Horror, Day 4

I had very meager expectations for this movie. The bar was set so low it was practically a limbo. Still, Closer to God managed to let me down. Luckily, I live-Tweeted the entire movie, so I wouldn’t have to articulate why I disliked this film in paragraphs of prose.

They really mined the C-list for this one:

The first 30 minutes got really preachy:

What parent doesn’t know the horror of a child who just won’t sleep:

I was bracing myself for deus ex Muslim Jihad, but it went nowhere:

Here’s another thing I thought would happen, but didn’t:

This one I got right:

When I’m bored, I overanalyze everything:

See also:

Symbolism is apparently lost on me – probably because I’ve never read Frankenstein:

This movie was made for people like me:

And then it just…ends. I’m staring to think Get Out was a fluke, and the rest of the movies we’re planning to watch this month will suck.