Because sometimes wisdom is best delivered in bite-sized nuggets. But not like Twitter – never like Twitter.
The cornerstone of any healthy relationship is knowing when to call it quits. That’s why I think it time to give South Park the old “it’s not you, it’s me” routine.
The Good Place continues to zag when I’m expecting it to zig. I really thought they were going to waste an entire season on Eleanor’s search for Chidi. I was happy to be proven wrong.
I really, really suck at arcade shoot-em-ups. Does my inability to dodge pixelated bullets say anything about how good I am at dodging metaphorical ones? Stay tuned.
I’m taking my daughter to see LEGO Ninjago and gorge myself on all-you-can-eat cereal, and I’m not sure which one of us is more filled with glee. I suppose that makes me a man child. And I’m not going to pretend otherwise – even on the Internet.
Nothing fills me with a more profound sense of disappointment than approaching the office coffee pot and finding it empty. Like, there should be a mechanism that automatically brews a new pot, if only to spare my feelings. Because, contrary to popular belief, I am capable of human emotion. Somewhat.
Dino won Masterchef. Cue branded merchandise bearing the phrase “Baby doll!” I’m left to wonder if the dude is just the entirety of New Jersey culture distilled into a single human being, or if that was just his schtick to get on TV. Either all of New Jersey is a walking caricature, or he is. Both outcomes frighten me.